forliberty--a brave heart's quest for freedom

Confident Hope

There are 181 times the NIV Bible translates into English the various forms of the word “hope.”  I have every one highlighted in my Bible. I love coming across them when I’m reading.  No matter how I feel, hope is always a welcome companion.

 

The first reference to hope is in Ruth 1:12.  This is a picture of a woman who has lost all hope.  “Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was still hope for me—even if I had a husband tonight and then gave birth to sons— ¹³ would you wait until they grew up? Would you remain unmarried for them? No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the LORD’s hand has turned against me!” I confess to having some of Naomi’s feelings recently.  I don’t feel the Lord’s hand has turned against me, but I’ve been overwhelmed and temporarily lost a tight grip on hope.  In preparing for teaching the women at our local women’s prison last week, God sweetly restored my hope and gave me an optimistic attitude.  I think there are others out there who have lost their grip on hope, so I wanted to share what I learned.  

 

It started with looking in the Bible at the illustration of Peter walking on the water to Jesus.  Talk about a walk of faith.  What would it take to climb out of a boat in the midst of a storm at night and attempt to walk across the water?  As was so often the case with Peter before the Holy Spirit got ahold of him at Pentecost, he made an impetuous and faith filled move, that was somewhat short lived.  Matthew 14 tells of Jesus having stayed behind to pray after feeding the 5000.  He sent the disciples on ahead to cross the sea, then came walking on the water to join them in the middle of the night.  They were, of course, frightened to see Him walking toward them on the water.  Verse 27 picks up the story.  “But Jesus spoke to them at once. ‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘Take courage. I am here!’

 ²⁸ “Then Peter called to him, ‘Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.’

 ²⁹ “‘Yes, come,’ Jesus said.

“So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. ‘Save me, Lord!’ he shouted.

 ³¹ “Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. ‘You have so little faith,’ Jesus said. ‘Why did you doubt me?’

 ³² “When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. ³³ Then the disciples worshiped him. ‘You really are the Son of God!’ they exclaimed.”

What’s the remedy for the fear Peter experienced? Jesus said it was faith and trusting Him.  I want to talk about the part hope plays in our faith and trust.  Biblical hope is different from worldly hope.  If someone says, “I hope I get a new car,” they don’t necessarily know whether they will get the car or not. It’s wishful thinking.  Biblical hope is a knowing, because we know Who loves us and always has our best interest at heart.  Romans 5:5 says, “And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”  (NLT)

Peter took his eyes off Jesus and saw the waves and storm and knew he was sunk.  If he had been confident in his hope of who Jesus was, it wouldn’t have been an issue.  Hope keeps our minds focused on Jesus not the storm raging around us.

My life verse reminds me that I can’t just conjure up this kind of hope.  I’ve said this verse dozens of times and have it memorized.  But I forgot.  Romans 15:13 says, “ I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” (NLT)  I see from this verse that God is the source of hope.  It’s his desire to fill me with joy and peace.  Who doesn’t want to be filled with joy and peace, no matter the circumstances?  I certainly do.  The Holy Spirit is able to not just give me a miniscule amount of hope, but enough to overflow and  splash onto someone else nearby.  My part?  I need to trust Him. 

It sounds easy to say, “Just trust the Lord.”  But how do I do that?  Is trust a feeling that needs to be present, or is it something else?  If it’s a feeling, then I’m doomed, just like I was recently when I was overwhelmed.  If it’s something else, how to I grab onto trust and stop looking at the storm all around me?

I think of the 12 of the spies who were sent out to do recon on the Promised Land before the Israelites entered in.  They all saw the same circumstances.  Their reports of what those circumstances meant were quite different.  Ten saw the difficulties.  Two knew God was with them and they could conquer every place He was leading them.  The story is retold from the events of Numbers 13 in Deuteronomy 1 starting in verse 20.

“ ‘You have now reached the hill country of the Amorites that the Lord our God is giving us. ²¹ Look! He has placed the land in front of you. Go and occupy it as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has promised you. Don’t be afraid! Don’t be discouraged!’

 ²² “But you all came to me and said, ‘First, let’s send out scouts to explore the land for us. They will advise us on the best route to take and which towns we should enter.’

 ²³ “This seemed like a good idea to me, so I chose twelve scouts, one from each of your tribes. ²⁴ They headed for the hill country and came to the valley of Eshcol and explored it. ²⁵ They picked some of its fruit and brought it back to us. And they reported, ‘The land the Lord our God has given us is indeed a good land.’

 ²⁶ “But you rebelled against the command of the Lord your God and refused to go in. ²⁷ You complained in your tents and said, ‘The Lord must hate us. That’s why he has brought us here from Egypt—to hand us over to the Amorites to be slaughtered. ²⁸ Where can we go? Our brothers have demoralized us with their report. They tell us, “The people of the land are taller and more powerful than we are, and their towns are large, with walls rising high into the sky! We even saw giants there—the descendants of Anak!”’

 ²⁹ “But I said to you, ‘Don’t be shocked or afraid of them! ³⁰ The Lord your God is going ahead of you. He will fight for you, just as you saw him do in Egypt. ³¹ And you saw how the Lord your God cared for you all along the way as you traveled through the wilderness, just as a father cares for his child. Now he has brought you to this place.’

 ³² “But even after all he did, you refused to trust the Lord your God, ³³ who goes before you looking for the best places to camp, guiding you with a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day.” (NLT)

Are we like the 10 who demoralized the entire nation, or like Caleb and Joshua who trusted the Lord even though they saw it would be difficult to occupy the land where the Lord was calling them?  Do we lose heart or take heart?  It all depends on how well we apply this pivotal principle in maintaining our trust and hope: We are responsible to take control of our minds.

Joshua and Caleb knew and believed the principle of Philippians 4:13.  “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”  (NLT) We can do everything God call us to do, because He will give us the strength.  When we let our minds dwell on the obstacles, fears and seeming impossibility of the task, we become demoralized and quit.  When we remember God and His strength available to us, we become optimistic and face the task confident in His abilities.  Joshua and Caleb did take control of their minds and thought of the good land, His gracious guidance to get there and the slavery He released them from in Egypt.  They eventually got to enter the Promised Land, but it would be another forty years until all those who couldn’t take their minds captive and trust the Lord died off.

This kind of optimism is kept by constantly keeping our minds focused on the things of God.  I don’t have to think every thought that comes into my mind.  I can reject false and fearful thoughts, and replace them with true and hopeful thoughts.  Fortunately, the Bible tells us how to do that.  Philippians 4: 8 & 9 says, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.” (NLT) Again, God will give us His peace when we do things according to His instructions.  As the verse mentions, it takes practice.  I was off my game a little recently, and allowed my focus to get off of hope and onto fear.  I’m back in the game this week.

Romans 12:2 is another reminder to cling to hope.  “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”  I can trust God to even change the way I think.  My part again, is to reject those false and fearful thoughts, and think about the true and hopeful things.  Even in a hard time, there are hopeful things to think about that line up with God’s will and what He is doing in the midst of our circumstances.

I want to close with another of the 181 references to hope.  “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.”  (Hebrews 10:23; NIV)  I’ve got a renewed grip on hope now, and I want to keep holding on tightly.

Confessions of a Recovering Control-Freak

“Hurry up Bethie!  We’re going to go see Mommy.”

Grandma and Grandpa Fischer had come to help us celebrate my second birthday.  After the family had sung “Happy Birthday” to me and we had eaten our cake, Dad took Mom to the hospital.  My baby brother, Jerry, was born early the next morning.

Grandma had been trying to help me get dressed all afternoon.  To each of her offers of help, I’d stubbornly replied, “DO IT MYSELF!”  Now, she was worried we’d completely miss visiting hours at the hospital.  I finally got my dress and shoes and socks on.  My hair never did get combed before we had to leave for the hospital.

“Now you need to wait here to see your mommy,” the nurse patiently explained to me.  That was back in the days before natural childbirth.  Husbands waited in a separate room for news of the delivery, and children under age sixteen weren’t even allowed in the maternity ward.

“See this line on the floor?”  The nurse pointed to where the linoleum pattern changed.  “You may come to this line, BUT NO FARTHER, to wait for your mommy.”

After the nurse turned to walk away, I walked right up to the line.  I looked left, then right, to be sure she wasn’t watching me.  I then stuck one toe over the line just to show everyone that I was in charge.  I’ve been a recovering control-freak ever since.

My parents faced the challenge of taking my naturally strong-willed tendencies and shaping my character to be strong-willed for righteousness.  They somehow knew the principle of “discipline with love,” described by Dr. James Dobson in his book The Strong-Willed Child.  (Wheaton, IL; Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.; 1978; pg. 112)  It is “a reasonable introduction to responsibility and self-control, parental leadership with a minimum of anger, respect for the dignity and worth of the child, realistic boundaries that are enforced with confident firmness, and a judicious use of rewards and punishment to those who challenge and resist.  It is a system that bears the approval of the Creator Himself.”

Proverbs 3:11&12 puts it this way:  “My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” (NLT)  When a father loves his child and takes delight in her, it’s his privilege and responsibility to correct and train her.  This is discipline—making a disciple who knows what is right and does it.

I don’t think disciple making is intuitive for parents.  My dad had been harshly punished for disobedience as a child.  He remembers several occasions of being taken to the wood shed and spanked by his dad.  Once, when he was four, Dad had been playing with matches and set his family’s winter supply of wood on fire.  His dad punished him by building a small fire and holding Jerry over it until he got good and warm.  We would consider that harsh, frightening and abusive punishment today.

That was the only example Dad had to follow.  His dad had certainly gotten his attention with strong punishment.  It’s not likely that he ever repeated any of those wrongs for which he was beaten.  Dad didn’t have the advantage of reading any Christian parenting books either.  They weren’t available then.  I think he knew, though, that a more moderate approach would be more appropriate.

I do remember being spanked with Dad’s belt a few times when I was young.  My mom says that after a few times, Dad would just look at me as if the belt would come off if I didn’t shape up.  That was enough for me to exercise self-control and behave, and send me to my room in tears in my early teen years.

As an adult student of child development, I’ve come to see that appropriate spanking is one tool a parent may use in disciplining.  When I say appropriate, I mean never in anger, only for willful misbehavior and with reconciliation and loving hugs afterward.  If a parent allows a child’s misbehavior to escalate until the parent becomes angry, the spanking to follow may well become abusive.  That kind of lashing out at the child leads to fear of the parent.  The behavior may change, but only because of fear.  There is no heart change.  Spanking is not the only tool to use. Logical consequences are often sufficient when the connection is made for the child. A time-out to consider what was done or to cool down is often effective also. Rewards are often a good incentive to help shape desired behaviors, too. When the parent disciplines out of love and delight in the child, the child has the best hope of changing behavior and learning self-control. That’s how God deals with us.

Real discipline deals quickly with wrong actions or attitudes.   Both parent and child are then free to start over with the past forgiven and forgotten.  Consequences may have to be paid, such a paying for a broken window or cleaning up a mess, but the guilt is over.  Parental blow-ups on the other hand can leave long-lasting scars and bitterness.  David left us a beautiful description of how God deals in us in Psalm 51: ^7” Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;  wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. ⁸ Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. ⁹ Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt.  ¹⁰Create in me a clean heart, O God.  Renew a loyal spirit within me.¹¹ Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.” (NLT)  Once we are disciplined (broken), God restores our joy and we’re secure in His presence.

A perfect father wants his child to know right from wrong and develop the self-control to choose what is right.  Without a parent to stop him, a child may keep pushing and pushing, hoping someone will love him enough to keep him from doing what he knows is wrong.  It’s love that disciplines a child.  The properly disciplined child can have confidence to face the future knowing he/she has the self-control needed to face challenges and do what’s right. 

My mom says I was strong-willed before the term was even invented.  Dr. Dobson wrote his book by that title when my children were young and I needed his wisdom.  My grandchildren are strong-willed, and I rather suspect my dad is too.  (Who am I kidding?  He definitely started the heritage.)  I’m grateful that self-control is part of the Fruit of God’s Spirit that grows in our lives as followers of Jesus.  I don’t want to grow up to be that control freak two year old always having to prove that it’s my way or the wrong way. I’m grateful my earthly parents and my Heavenly Father love me enough to discipline me because of their delight in me.

 

^“As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?  If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all.  Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”                 (Hebrews 12:7-11; NLT)